I’ve been eating a lot of strange post-holiday snacks this week. After the festivities were over, I found myself in an apartment full of ribboned and confettied food products, like cookies, chocolate, and this giant tub of stuff from the Popcorn Factory. At first I was excited about the prospect of finding inside different varieties of gourmet kernels, but no such luck; instead it was filled with bags of neon-colored prepopped corn and other odds and ends. Disgusted as I was, I still have to give them credit for the surprise factor — who’d have thought of bright red cinnamon-flavored popcorn? Or ranch? And “spicy” flavored peanuts instead of just roasted peanuts? Good for them.
But after eating almost all of it, not good for me. I’m feeling heavy and lethargic from my junk-food binges, spurred by curiosity and an innate aversion to wasting any (close relative to) food. Why do we do this to one another and disguise it as a gift? So that we can be all the more determined to make a New Year’s resolution to eat better?
Probably the only nutritious food we commonly swap during the holidays is fruit — invariably from Harry & David. I received my share from the mail-order giant myself. The apples were all coated with a conspicuous glaze that needed to be washed off before eating them. I could feel the stuff running off onto my hands as I rinsed them. I suppose it’s to be expected, since most non-organic apples are waxed and we’re used to washing them to rid the pesticides anyhow. For now, I’m just glad that they’re not covered in a caramel and chocolate glaze. My biggest packaged food disappointment, however, was that the oranges were also coated with the stuff. It cracked and flaked off as I peeled the rind off of one, creating a pile of red-tinted shards on the plate underneath. But unlike the apples, the oranges weren’t even sweet. It’s one thing to try to make a good fruit look even more appealing with artificial applications. But to “make-up” a haggard, dried-out and discolored orange? Now that just seems wrong.
What are your worst holiday food experiences?
3 Responses
mark
I too suffer from the well-intended Harry and David gifts from family every year. The irony is I live in Oregon where Harry and David is based and it seems silly to be having them ship around 6 apples or pears, etc when they are just down the road.
Understanding of course that they are probably shipped much further, it is more concerning, as you say, that they ‘shine so’… yet another use for corn that you saw in your flavored corn set. We are just struggling to use all this subsidized corn and now it is going to be stupidly subsidized as fuel…
My resolution is always eat better than last year… now if I can just find a polite way of asking my folks to save the money on the Harry and David stuff … now that is a tougher chore.
Hope the New Year is great for your resolution as well (but, if there are any chocolates you are looking to get rid of, you know where to send them…)
Cheers
chisai
Harry and David. I love their pears, but honestly, everything else is disgusting. My family (who really should know better since I was taught from birth not to eat that kind of crap) sent me a package of their dried sausages and cheeses. Hmm, perhaps they’re trying to tell me something?
Re: The Popcorn Factory. I will not stop eating the cheese popcorn until it’s gone. I mean REALLY not stop. I love that stuff. And the caramel corn’s not bad. But every other flavor? I either give it away or toss it. And the interesting thing is that most people feel the same. So the question is, if they feel that way, why are they sending it out as gifts?
Right?
meaghan
oh my god the cheese popcorn. i love it so much.