Songs in the Key of Lime (Tostitos)

posted in: Regrets | 5

Wow.  The other night I experienced a serious lapse in fun, urban foodie-ness and instead became Homer Simpson.  I wouldn’t say it was an all-time low, but it involved eating a dinner of beer and half a bag of Tostitos hint of lime flavored chips.  I’m feeling the pain. 

I came home from work to find three friends jamming away on instruments in my tight living room.  Cut to many songs sung, many beer bottles downed, a few hours later, and our only source of nutrition from the inside of a bag of weird chips,  I didn’t really have the inclination to stop everything and cook.  My inner urban foodie was crying at the doorstep all night. 

Toward the end of the night, we decided to take a late-night run to Union Hall, a trendy new bar/restaurant/music venue in my neighborhood.  I had been there just once right after it opened, and it had always looked packed inside after that.  So when we got there around 11:45, it was still really crowded.  We managed to work our way through the plush, library-like main room with the indoor bocci and got a table in the alleyway outside. 

Me: Well this is really cute.

Ben: Yeah.

(Pause – loud chatter, people laughing, smoking loudly)

Ryan: So what kind of pretentious food do they have on the menu?

Ben: It’s expensive.

Ryan: I guess I’ll get the Triple Threat – three mini angus burgers, a long description about the sauces that they use [which include Guinness somewhere in there].

Ben: Yeah I’m going to get that too.

Me: What is this?  Apple Jack cereal-crusted goat cheese balls??

Ryan: What are you getting?

Me: Um, I’m just going to have another beer.  I don’t eat out.

As it turned out, nobody got to eat out, since the waitress came back to our table after taking our order to report that the kitchen had just closed.  (As Ryan pointed out, very annoyingly so because she sort of leaned her hips on the side of our table and took a deep apologetic breath before telling us she was soo sorry but the kitchen had JUUUST closed.)  But I did get to drink my superfluous nightcap.  One of these days, I’ll have to take a look at this bar’s food.  Ever since A Hamburger Today streamed images of the Union Hall burgers (which I now, for some reason, can’t find on the site anymore) I’ve been pining to get a peek at them.  Not that I’m going to eat it, or anything.  (Sigh.)

5 Responses

  1. Adam

    Those pix from Union Hall can be found here. The “triple threat” meal lives up to its name. It is indeed triple, and it is indeed a threat — to your tastebuds. The burgers are disgustingly greasy, and they all taste the same, despite being topped with wildly different ingredients. You are definitely not missing out on anything here by “not eating out in New York.”

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