Comments on: Reason for Not Eating Out #34: Check Arithm-ethic

By: Kay Shepherd

Kay Shepherd — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 21:57:46 +0000

I rarely go out to eat with anyone other than my husband, so it’s not usually an issue. Once in a while, my work group goes out for an office lunch. The restaurant we usually go to does not split checks, so my boss picks up the tab and everyone pays him later. We have a small group and it works for us.

By: Herbert

Herbert — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:11:56 +0000

On the very rare (i.e once yearly) occasions that my friends and myself eat out everyone pays for what they have had, the tip is split evenly. Its the most straight forward system but can be hampared if members of the party are dishonest or if the restaurant adds on tax/service charge that wasn’t included in the prices shown on the menu (on a recent visit to India I found that practice endemic).

By: roxie

roxie — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:07:36 +0000

I will usally get a seprate bill no matter who im with. On the rare time I do split something with someone we work out what the cost will be, whos tab it will be on and that person pays their haif right then and there. It works out really well.

By: Kynicar

Kynicar — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:23:41 +0000

I’ve definitely run into this problem in the past… So now, whenever we (or just me, if having a girl’s night) go out, we always tell the waiter that we want a separate check right before we order. We don’t drink, hardly ever get an appetizer or dessert, and definitely don’t think it’s fair to have to pay for someone else’s gluttony. So, I just don’t care if I look stingy, and I don’t care what my friends think and ask for the separate check anyway. If it’s a birthday, I’ll make sure to also bring cash in case we end up paying for the bday person’s meal.

By: Chitownie

Chitownie — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:06:46 +0000

I paid $20 for a good margarita and GROSS tacos. I could make a better margarita, provide entertainment & make great tacos – so HA

By: LMN

LMN — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 05:30:48 +0000

This is a pet peeve of mine, too, so much so that I don’t even go to diners if there is more than 4-6 people there. It’s just too much of a hassle. Especially these days when there can be a very large income disparity around the table- the unemployed, underemployed, and the few who are still carrying on as if it’s 2007!In fact I just turned down a group birthday dinner at a trendy soho spot, I probably would have wound up paying 65$ for a salad and a glass of wine. no thanks!

By: Chitownie

Chitownie — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:16:31 +0000

I don’t like the part of decoding the check – hence I try to eat at home beforehand if I go meet a big group
At a restaurant. I will never forget a major issue that arose with a large group
And the restaurant’s refusal to split the checks. I can’t blame them bc it is a pain – but a potluck at home could have served the purpose if fellowship and we could have had more wine, beer, pop, food and laughter

I also prefer to eat in and try cooking new things at home. I live in a big city too and life is not cheap here so I love your blog bc it is fresh, exciting and intelligent. Keep up the good work!!!!!

By: Mira8

Mira8 — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 23:49:58 +0000

Jenny: I think you mean secret stiffer, not sniffer.

By: Angel

Angel — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:50:25 +0000

My experience echos Irene’s exactly. I too have ended up paying three times what I ate because of what other people ordered. It is unfair that we should have to subsidize everyone else’s meals, but I never speak up because I know I will look cheap and stingy and poison the collaborative atmosphere. It really is unfair, though. I’ve been a student with little income the past few years and when I would go out with others I would have a set amount in mind of what I could afford to spend. I would order something economical and bypass the appetizers and drinks but I would still end up paying for them. I hate that people assume that everyone else can afford to pay more than their share or to pay the higher amount that someone else was willing to pay. Everyone may have a different ability to pay so no one should assume that everyone has the same ceiling. So now when I have the opportunity to attend a group dining outing I have to ask myself whether I can spend $30 or upwards. Sadly, sometimes I have to decline invitations I would otherwise accept because I just cannot afford to subsidize other people’s meals.

Irene, I have never seen anyone pitch in for a home cooked meal unless it was established ahead of time that the costs would be split. More common, I think, is for the guest to contribute or offer to bring a food or drink item for the host(ess) which is then typically shared at that meal. What country are you from?

By: Irene

Irene — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:59:01 +0000

Great post and excellent reason! I am the person who never orders alcohol and just gets water to drink, I usually never get dessert and never coffee, and I ALWAYS end up paying more than my actual share. I don’t want to be cheap but sometimes I wish somebody would say “oh but you didn’t have xyz so you shouldn’t pay for that!” My worst experience was going out for a birthday dinner when I had a seven dollar dish and ended up paying $40 because of all the wine!

I notice this with a group of colleagues as well, but with an interesting twist: everybody wants to split the bill evenly and nobody says anything if they had less than the others – but they totally skimp on the tip!! I am always saying that we need to add more tip, so I feel I get punished twice – first for eating and drinking less, then because I add extra tip. Grrr…

Mark, your Dutch story was very funny, in my experience it is a very true stereotype! However, I have a question for all of you: when home cooking, do people ever pitch in with money? That is totally normal in my country among young people but not here in the US…

(I clearly had a lot of grudge on this topic! Feels cathartic to write about it though.)